I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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