Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
