remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
