Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
