Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
