Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
