ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
