would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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