I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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