I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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