The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
