it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
