i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
