Jerry, you need to find god
Small penises have feelings too.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize