We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
