I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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