Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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