I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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