she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
