dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
