It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
