Swine flu. Run for my life!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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