So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
