if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
