You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
