Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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