I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
