i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
