Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
