yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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