I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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