is your mom at the bar?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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