Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
