Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
