It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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