So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize