I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
