kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
