The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
