she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize
