All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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