I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
