sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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