can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
and she was petting her beer can
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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