hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
