the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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