So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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