Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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