Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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