i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
