was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
