remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
