Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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