is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
