During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she told me i tasted like america
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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