yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
