if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
