Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
